Answering the Questions of Google Searchers - Part 4

Posted by Jason on March 30th, 2006 — in Question Time

rummy-confused.jpgToday was supposed to be the Chapter on Building Your Site as a part of our Online Business Tutorial. This latest Chapter is still being written by myself and to really include everything, I need another days worth of work. So as I work on that, I figured I would do another installment of Answering the Questions of Google Searchers. It seems Yahoo and MSN also like Off the Top of My Head (Its about time) so the title should really include all 3, but I don’t feel like changing it so too bad.

 

paragraphs and taste

We have plenty of paragraphs here but I can’t help you out with the second one

fatih böhürler

Two tildas and a percentage…You win the most unpronounceable name ever

50 things i want to do before i am 80

How much fun can any of them be if you have to search on Google for them. I will give you 5 to get you started:

1.) Push your eyes for interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out things your subconscious is trying to send you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the same effects on TV?

2.) Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

3.) Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can’t even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the “makes boredom seem a lot better” effect (see “Hurt Yourself”).

4.) Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone’s CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.

5.) Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Stolen from Urban 75

imo abbr. in chatting

A sure sign that I am getting old as it took me around 10 minutes to figure out what that sentence even meant. I am that much more ashamed that I was able to figure it out - In My Opinion Abbreviation in Chatting

ring of fire preperation h

Something tells me you weren’t sitting down when you searched for that

initial capital for starting a sugar making

Don’t leave me hanging…I’m dieing to know what the end of that search was…Was it “Initial Capital for Starting a Sugar Making Spy Ring?” or maybe “Initial Capital for Starting a Sugar Making Midget Wrestling Arena?”…Please come back

back off copycats!!11

That was the original chant of the Thundercats but after they showed it to focus groups, they went with “Thundercats Hoooooo!”

sometimes i want drop a brick on my head

- Donald Trump on whether or not he has used enough hairspray

frum -david -fÓrum -fÒrum -john -myspace -linda -jon -dave

Step away from the Google Advanced Operators

safe to eat a urinal cake

How many times do I have to tell you people, Don’t Eat the Urinal Cakes!!!

penn dieing

Man, news takes a long time to get to the far reaches of the globe. I know Off the Top of My Head isn’t the best person to inform you of this (Hope you are seated)…….Sean Penn is Dead

is making vodka dangerous?

Only if you live with Mikhail Gorbachev

Answering the Questions of Google Searchers - Part 3

Posted by Jason on March 10th, 2006 — in Question Time

This is the third week of answering searchers questions and although it will probably never get old to me, Bush Confusedsome people may want a little bit more meat with this post. I got pretty bored with the standard Wordpress 404 page (With my particular theme there was none so it just redirected to the home page), so I decided to whip one up. Seeing as how I try to lighten the mood at least once a week due to some of the heavy business topics, I added that same logic to the 404 page.

I still need to clean it up a bit, make the text for my custom IE page clearer by using my HTML instead of a screenshot, but what can I say - I spent around ten minutes on it so far. You can access it by going to any page that doesn’t exist here but for the truly lazy, here is a fictional link. Now on to the questions.

chris penn was beautiful once

There are brand new Chris Penn searches every week. I think dieing was the best thing he ever did for his career. Maybe his no talent brother should give it a try.

clean jokes city planner job

Yeah, those are hillarious - Have you heard this one - “A student in a undergraduate design studio was told this by her TA after designing a transparent floor over water. Later on, the design was changed to the decidedly more diabolical one of a floor surface that randomly sinks into the water.”

I laughed so hard milk shot out my nose

thug out cars

Is that Pimpout 2.0?

what to bring for an interview for pole dancing

Actual proof that strippers aren’t too stupid to use a computer. Wait until MENSA gets a hold of this one!

seochat events

Hmmm.. Lets see if I can think of some past SEOChat Events:

  • Take your ranking to crap day
  • First annual no one posts for a day festival
  • How many ads can you fit on a page contest

how do you make your own countdown

You are going to have to dig up Richard Whiteley (ahhh great, now look what you did - we are going to rank for yet another dead guy)

full spelling of nazi

Nazi — That will be $2

rabbit alcohol

Its amazing what they are making Vodka from these days

punch your head off

Were you looking for instructions or is that a threat?

head pop off illusion

Email me, I’ll get you in contact with the guy above you. Seems like you to will be able to entertain each other for hours

violence dublin funny

Hmmm.. millions in damage and loss of sales, a black eye on the city, loss of tourist confidence..a regular laugh a minute

Answering the Questions of Google Searchers - Part 2

Posted by Jason on February 28th, 2006 — in Question Time

Just as a refresher, I love analyzing logs and especially like looking at the phrases used to find Off the Top of My Head. I will be taking a search phrase as a question or request and adding my comments to it. Some of them barely need a comment as they are funny on their own but true to my style, I will add one anyway. So without further ado here are the searched terms so far this month: 

fall out boy interviews

Watch Out! Radioactive Man! …wait a second…ahem  Watch Out! Radioactive Man!  no I need to do it again… Watch Out! Radioactive Man!   Maaan, I am never going to get the part…Stupid Milhouse

google ugly people

What, do they not have any ugly people where you live? Do you need to go online to find some

20 people off the top of your head

I’ve heard of conjoined twins but thats ridiculous

yfs-cd

I was going to put out a CD but then backed out…I had even narrowed down the Genre. It was between Classical Artists of the 15th century and Death Metal…Couldn’t make a decision in the end

feed no money down

Any respectable farmer knows its always advisable to pay cash…morons

banned frum television

Maybe it was a show about spelling

off the top of your head meaning

I will try to be helpful with this one - It means your first thoughts, initial reaction to a subject, etc. Its origin, in my opinion, is the view of consciousness being in layers. There’s the subconscious. Then your first thoughts would be from a top layer or off the top of your head.

(I stole that because I had no idea…Its just Origin of Off the Top of My Head gets a ton of searces each week)

why did u enter to my life there must be a reason

You probably typed www.google.com … The reason is that addresses are used rather then IPs because….ahh never mind

chris penn interview

Lol
Interviewer: So whats it like to be eaten by worms
Chris Penn: Not as bad as I thought, at least Im not a big fat train wreck anymore…Lost 30 pounds this week

where to look when using a urinal

I have no idea, just don’t eat the urinal cakes. Despite the name they really don’t taste that good

can i give my rabbit alcohol

Hello, my name is Peter Rabbit and I’m an alchoholic.

why shouldn t people use illegal drugs

Because they can make more money selling them? I don’t know